Help you need, but won't take
by Xx-Internal-HoNk-xX
Summary: Karkat has found himself stuck in an abusive relationship, yet he can't pull himself away from his lover. Because he sees what no one else can see and it hurts to think of leaving him, but it hurts to be with him. Dave can't take it anymore, he can't stand to see a new scar on his bro every time they meet. Can Dave help this situation or just make it worse?
1. Prolog

_**Help you need, but won't take**_

* * *

Prolog:

Be Karkat Vantas ==

You don't know how this happened, well you do, but you don't know why. Why, what did you ever do? That's all you wonder sometimes, that's all you wonder while you clean the house, or make dinner. You've always been a good kid from the start. You were always 30 minutes early to school, never late for class, always got straight A's, spent your free time in the library studying or at the house reading books if your weren't caught up in your shitty rom-coms. You never really got in trouble, yeah you threw a bunch of expletives at your teachers one time or another, but over all you were good. So why, what did you ever do?

The story started out a few years ago in high school. Like you said you had always got good grades, in all the honor classes and worked your very best. After all, your family really wasn't that well off and your dad was stuck in a dead end job. You didn't want to be like him, you wanted to succeed in life. You were doing a very good job at that too, there was _him_ though. That _him_ was known as the school clown and not in a good way, more as the school freak. The time that should've been spent in school classrooms, was spent with a back against the wall smoking god knows what, well it started out with just plain cigarettes with Tabaco. His hair was a mess and he could be raising birds in there from how tangled it was, it looked like a perfect nest. He was tall, way taller than you, maybe even by a foot. You were short though and he was above average height. His skin was a sickly pale color, but beautiful dark purple eyes, with ugly face paint to cover the scars that look like cat scratches on his face. He also was pierced on his face, so were his ears maybe even gauged. Bottom line he wasn't a very clean person and barley changed his clothes, even when he did they still reeked of smoke and beer. He barley attended class and was failing basically everything. One teacher still had hope though they set you up with him, made you tutor him. You thought all hope was lost. You thought you could never teach this male, but you did. He turned his life around in high school, well as much as he could. As he started finishing homework, attending class and actually getting decent grades you felt like he didn't need you anymore, but he kept you around. You studied together sometimes, in the end you guys ended up talking about god knows what. Well he would usually go on about miracles and you would just roll your eyes yelling at him how that shit doesn't exist. You two became very close though, and the best of friends. Well you were friends until he asked you to prom. He claimed that he was going alone since nobody else in the school liked him all that much and both your friends Dave Strider and John Egbert went with each other as best friends. John made it pretty clear too, as he says the sentence, "I'm not a homosexual," at least once a week, though he stopped after a while. You're pretty sure everybody got the point so he didn't need to spread it around anymore.

Prom was fun, but from there on out you could feel you guys getting closer with each other. You even started going to his house, which to your surprise was actually not as shitty as you thought it would be, you're sure he cleaned up the apartment just for you though. He put up watching your shitty ass rom-coms and you put up with talks about miracles. You started sleeping over when movie marathons ran late into the night. While you slept he held you, and he held you and cared about you. In the middle of the night while you pretended you were asleep he would press the chapped plush white lips against your forehead, you felt loved, and you felt protected. The feeling was rare for you in the shitty neighborhood you grew up in.

So it was decided, by month three of your senior year in high school that you two would get an apartment together, go to college and get jobs. It seemed like a good start, this may be the beginning of a family, or so you thought. Things went way downhill once you guys got an apartment on the fairly nice part of town. Working all the jobs you could when you were younger into high school landed you a pretty nice place. You would need to find a job soon though because this house wasn't going to be easy to pay for much longer.

It started out in the summer, Gamzee decided that he didn't want to go to college he wanted to work with music and perform. That was fine, as long as he got gigs and brought in money as you went to college you didn't care, it was fine with you. That's how it was, for the first few months. When the first semester started up Gamzee was getting gigs at local coffee houses and bars. He slowly stopped though, stress was building up when he couldn't find anywhere to preform, so the money spent on the house now went to this odd drug name sopor, it was rare and cheap, but it changed him. The withdrawals he got were god awful since he couldn't always get his dose when he needed it, it showed you a different side of him. You on the other hand dropped out of college, you couldn't keep up with school and the apartment since Gamzee wasn't helping anymore. It was okay though, you kept calm and just focused on other things. You could always go to school in a year two, taking a break wouldn't really hurt, even though school meant a lot to you.

So here you are, a stay at home boyfriend, always making sure the house is clean, always making dinner, making sure the house was stalked with beer, making sure if you didn't have sopor you could at least have something else that may calm him down long enough for you to escape to Dave's. Because your boyfriend isn't him anymore, he always stays at bars, then comes home drunk looking for a fight. You try to stay calm and smile, but by the time he's home, he's sober and you get beat, you get beat _hard_. You've almost experienced death a few times, you're okay. You learn you just need to keep the clown happy. It's hard though, it's not as easy as you thought. If one thing is off you get yelled at, when you try to fix it he gets angrier. Sometimes when you out right forget he will hit you, or when he's insanely drunk and he doesn't even have touch with reality anymore. You wish you would've known he was an angry drunk before agreeing to let him go to bars. You went a few times with him, but it wasn't fun. He ended up leaving you in his drunken state to go hit on someone else which hurt beyond anything else. You lie to yourself; you just keep lying, always lying. _He's just friendly. He loves me and only me; he loves me and only me_. You fall asleep with those thoughts sometimes, but you haven't even convinced yourself fully, yet you have enough to stay with him.

To everyone else he seems like a horrible person and your best bro hates him so much if you didn't hold him back when they were in a room together Dave would throw punches at the clown in seconds. You say the sweetest things about him that still exist because he couldn't fully change, his emotions are just clouded and his feelings are hidden and he needs to find them. When Gamzee finds them though and holds you at night when you cry after a fight and he has realized what he did, you can't pull away. The smell that is so sickening, but it's his smell and you love him. You fucking love him. How he does realize his mistakes half the time and will try to make it up to you with cheap flowers or lying in bed watching your favorite movies with you. How he can apologize and tries for you, he still tries, you can see him trying. Nobody else can, nobody else sees why he means so much to you and why you love him. Another part why you don't want to leave him though is because you're scared. Yes you're scared. You know what he's capable of and you mean a lot to him, if the person he loves left him then you might not make it back alive.

You don't know if you're staying out of love or fear anymore, all you know is you're not you. Yet you keep lying to yourself like everything is fucking dandy and life couldn't get any better. Everyone believes it too, well beside Dave. He's too smart for your lies. You don't know if you would even believe yourself. Your regular glare has turned into a somewhat fake smile trying to get people to fuck off from your personal life, the bags under your eyes have worsened, there are scars and bruises scattered throughout your body, from your throat, to your wrists and to your hips. You admit there are some scars from yourself, there faded now. You realized that it wasn't helping, yet some are fresh, you don't know why you did it, but sometimes you were at your end and that was your restart button so you could keep going. Or in a way it was a sign you needed help, even though how many peopled have offered to help you, you turn them down. You're not taking their help because you've convinced yourself that you can do this on your own.

You know how this happened, you just don't know why. Your name is Karkat Vantas and you need help, you're silently calling out for it, yet when it comes you won't take it because this something you can do on your own. But can you?

* * *

_ Okai Hai guys! Long time no see. I know I need to stop writing Fanfic__tion when I don't finish my other ones, but I can't help it. I have a problem and please someone help me. It's the summer though and I hope I can return to all my Fanfiction and get it all updated this summer maybe finish a story or two. Anyways this is my first time writing for Homestuck and even though I love the fandom very much, I'm still god awful at acting like the characters. If something is off please tell me because I hate being Oc. I am also sorry if something is off I'll try to fix it. This is why I've held back writing this story for so long, but I finally have some confidence to write, so yeah. Enjoy! This is only the prolog actual chapters should be longer. Thank you guys so much for reading!_

_._.-._.-Lillith-._.-._._


	2. Be the pissed off cool kid

Sorry for any mistakes

* * *

Chapter 1

Be the pissed off cool kid

Your name is Dave strider and you are currently lying in bed. It's around two am and you're starting to feel like you should sleep. This week of work has worn you out. You take off your shades and set them on the bed side table beside you, and close your eyes, adjusting comfortably in your bed getting ready for a good night's sleep. When you're peacefully drifting in and out about to sleep for the night you hear your text tone go off. Who would be bothering you at this hour? Truly curious you opened your eyes, unlocking your phone to see its Karkat. With a sigh you sit up opening the message to see if he's in any danger.

_Karkat – HEY…._

**Dave – sup**

_Karkat – CAN YOU COME OVER?_

**Dave – what about your boyfriend**

_Karkat – HE LEFT AGAIN. WE GOT IN A FIGHT AND HE STORMED OUT OF THE HOUSE_

**Dave – be there in a few**

You quickly get out of your bed and toss your phone in the random bundle of sheets. You're not pleased with Gamzee; you're actually beyond pissed with the fucking juggalo. He has no respect for your best friend and this is the third time you've been over there this week. That is part of the reason your sleep schedule is so fucked up. You have the weekend off though, so tonight you don't mind making a trip over there. Anything to help him, maybe you can sneak another talk about Gamzee tonight so he'll leave him. As much as you talk to Karkat about leaving him the male won't. You've seen the small crab burst into tears speaking about his love for Gamzee. You just know it's not going to end well if Karkat doesn't get out soon.

Shaking your head to clear the thoughts you start searching your floor for some clothes. It's hard to do it in the dark first of all and it's also hard to find a pair of clothes that don't smell like shit. You'll have to do the laundry soon, or at the very least sneak some of your clothes in with bro's load. That is if he even does the laundry. You eventually come across a pair of red plaid pajama pants that still smell fresh. After that you find your regular record shirt lying on the ground and slip that on too. After searching just a tad bit longer you find your red converse, okay now you can go. You pick up your phone from your bed and make your way out of the dark room that you were just in. The hall way is lit up a little bit from the street lights so you're able to make it to the door without falling over anything .As you open the door, you grab a pair of keys that will grant you access to your truck.

It was a boring ride to where Karkat lives, but fairly easy. Since its two am on a Friday night you thought it would be a little busier, but you realized all clubs are not near the crab's apartment, so it made it fairly easy to get to without any traffic. A trip that took about a half an hour was cut down to fifteen minutes. You relax in your seat now knowing you won't have to deal with the drunk drivers that are probably out this late. With a sigh you just continue to look at the road and listen to whatever was on the radio at the time. To be honest though, everything sucked. After a couple shitty songs you pull into the crab's parking lot that belongs to his apartment and park, making sure your truck is locked and safe because even though it was on a quite nice side of town, you still didn't trust this place. Now to go see Karkat, it took you long enough. You slowly walk up his stairs and soon end up in front of his apartment door knocking on it, waiting for answer.

Listening to the silence gets a little awkward after a while. Soon the door slowly open and you look down to see your best buddy. He doesn't look that good either. Though he has a black beanie on, you can see white hair sticking out everywhere not even bothering to tame it at the moment. His bright red eyes are huge and puffy, you swear you see wet lines on his face from past tears that have fallen, but in the end it doesn't surprise you His baggy black turtle neck hangs over his hands as he tries to cover almost every inch with skin with clothes, the only visible skin you can see is his face. He's way smaller than you, it's almost adorable, but you can't think about those thoughts at the time your friend needs you. The sight of you just makes you pissed off though, not at Karkat, but at Gamzee. A little part of you is frustrated at the crab though. He won't leave, he never will and it makes you almost sick to see your friend die right in front of your eyes.

"Hi…." He whispers softly, you can still hear the hurt in his voice. Probably the hurt or fear that he thought the fight was his entire fault, when it most likely wasn't. it never was. Though that's only what you thought. You usually found out what the fight was about in the end, but Karkat makes it sound like his fault. Though in truth it was the clown's fault just putting false ideas in the others head to make him feel bad.

You keep a straight face as you do a silent wave and step inside his apartment, slipping off your shoes and turn to look down at his beautiful red eyes. "Alright," You start with a slight tint of aggravation in your voice. "What did the asshole do this time?" You ask right away not bothering to make small talk. This isn't a time for small talk, you know something's wrong and you want to fix it. As you wait for an answer you take a seat on the old, but comfortable couch.

Karkat rolls his eyes, you know Karkat regrets coming to you a lot of the time because you want to figure everything out, and he just wants to sit in silent and be comforted not bothering to fix problems. He knows if he changes his situation right now he's going to lose something he loves. You know he isn't dumb, but yet he acts like it. God damn stubborn crab, if Gamzee wasn't already doing it you would be tempted to smack him upside the head to knock some sense into him. You only feel like that sometimes though, other times you regret having those thoughts because you know he's struggling enough as it is.

"Well," Karkat starts out unsure like if he really wants to admit to you what happened. "We just got in a stupid fucking fight about something absolutely pointless, I can't even remember anymore. He left though, again, just stormed out of the house." Karkat shakes his head, trying to act like he's all high and mighty like he used to be. The bad mouth that people didn't bother to be around or else their ears would get flooded with expletives and creatively put together insults. His wall was breaking though and you could tell in his voice that he was crumbling down piece by piece. "I'm sure he's pretty mad as well. He won't answer any calls or texts and it's already pretty late. I know he does this a lot….I mean I do, but I'm still worried about him." He spoke, sitting next to you on the couch. He sits a little to close because he wants comfort and to now it'll be okay.

You sigh and hold off on comfort for a moment as you roll your eyes and try to find the right words to get through this situation without yelling at him. Yelling won't do either of you any good. "Listen," you state seriously rubbing the bridge of your nose, lifting your aviators up ever so slightly before your glasses rest back on your freckled face and you go back to looking at the crabs bright red eyes filled with hatred, fear, and sadness. "Just shut the fuck up and listen to me for a minute," Being sensitive never really got through, so maybe hitting the problem spot on might work. "Gamzee, do you honestly think he gives one shit about you in this moment? He's probably smoking pot, or whatever that shit is that is god awful and getting a lap dance by two strippers and thinking which one he wants to take to bed. He doesn't care about you like you care about him. This needs to stop." You speak seriously. Yes that was probably the most insensitive thing that has left your mouth in a while, but you are so fucking sick of watching him go on like this is okay.

Instantly you know you've struck a nerve. Tears silently leak down his cheeks as he shakes his head and looks like he's starting to get angry, yet the sadness of Gamzee leaving him still stay's stronger than anger at yourself. "Just shut your fucking…." Was all he was able to get out, no cleaver insult to follow it or nothing. You sigh and listen to him talk for once as he takes a big breath and starts over. "Even if he doesn't care in the moment, I was the one that did make him upset and I should feel bad, because it's my fault he left. He cares too, he cares a lot, and he can't show it. He's never been good at showing it"

You raise an eyebrow unimpressed by his begging, you've heard it all too many times and as much you do feel bad for him right now you mind Is set on getting him to leave.. You slowly take the crabs chin and make him look at you, not hurting him. You let your aviators fall ever slightly down your nose so your red eyes meet each other's as you start to talk so maybe he'll get the point. "You don't do anything wrong, the last time I checked you haven't done anything. To him you have and too him you are a lot of things. A toy, a pawn, somebody who cleans the house, makes dinner, stocks the house with beer. Somebody who goes to an actual job and pays the bills and the rent, you do all of that and he does jack shit. You deserve someone who won't do that too you and will help you, you deserve better." you pull away; letting go of his chin and letting him go back and rest against the couch.

Karkat stays silent for a long time seeming like he's processing what he just heard and is thinking about one of the most offensive, but cleaver phrases to leave his mouth in a while That's what you want. You want that Karkat back, so you wait a few minutes for rage to start filling up and yelling at you, but nothing comes out. Nothing. You sigh shaking your head and lightly grabbing his hand, going back to the comfort method. "You look like shit, let's get you too bed."

Karkat looks like he's enough intact with reality to nod and follow you to Gamzee's and his own bedroom. Once you arrive you try to ignore the smell of beer and smoke that have stained the sheets. Maybe you should buy him a pair of sheets because these ones are tearing and ripping anyways. You sit on his bed and strip yourself of your shirt before slipping underneath the messy sheets on Gamzee's side of the bed. Soon Karkat joins you, he has slipped on some black sweat pants, staying in his turtle neck and removing his beanie before slipping in his side of the bed and cuddling to your side by habit. You sigh and wrap your arms around his waist, taking off your aviators and relaxing with him.

After a while of silence and laying in the dark you close your eyes only to hear Karkat's quiet voice, you wish he would return back to the regular him. "I'm sorry," he states. He probably thinks you're mad at him. Shit, you never meant for that to happen.

"It's okay," You whisper back, lightly patting the tangled mess of his hair before giving his body a tight, but quick squeeze to comfort him and make him know it's okay before you close your eyes again and officially drift off to sleep for the night.

You wake up in the morning and look at the lit up ceiling from the sun spilling in through the cracks in the curtains. You can't help but run your hands through your best friends / crushes hair. You do care a lot for Karkat and you wanted to be the one there for him, the one that cares for him and will always love him. He doesn't need Gamzee, but you need to work on getting him away from the freak before you work getting your own relationship with the crab. Maybe today was going to be a good day, maybe you could take Karkat out to breakfast and help him with his chores and shit since Gamzee wasn't around to lend a hand. You prefer it that way. Plus he was stressed he could use some help, why not be the one to offer it?

It's not before you long that you know that all your dreams are crushed. You hear the door slam and somehow Karkat has bolted awake looked straight ahead with panic in his eyes as he yells, but not loud enough for Gamzee to hear. "Fuck!" Karkat seemed frozen as he started mumbling a bunch of things to himself out of fear. "Is the fridge stocked with beer and food, did I do the laundry and dishes, why isn't breakfast ready? Did I over sleep? Why is he back so early, did I pick up the bedroom and bathroom? What else did I forget?" You sigh, shaking your head lightly rubbing his back softly as you slip on your aviators and try to comfort Karkat as much as you can in his state.

Soon enough Gamzee walked though and Karkat froze all over again. He only had enough time to shove you off and get ready to get out of bed. Gamzee glares at you and then at Karkat, looking like he was getting ready to start another fight with him. You couldn't let that happen no, oh no. You find your shirt on the floor and slip it on your head, walking over to Gamzee, but keeping distance. What you really want to do is bring a fist to his face and show him what it's like. You can't though, that is highly unprofessional and even though you find yourself letting anger run your body in situations like these you hold back and decide on using cold words.

"Bed times a little late," you state with a glare and walk to Karkat's dresser pulling out your black jeans. You find yourself sleeping over here a lot lately so you keep a pair of jeans over in case you need to get somewhere in the morning and you can't wear your pajamas to that location. "I was thinking about taking Karkat to breakfast. Is that okay?" You use a provoking voice to trigger the anger inside him and for a second you don't realize what you're doing, you don't realize this could end horribly for Karkat, so you cut the tone and go to the bathroom to slip on your jeans.

Once you're in the bathroom, you strip out of your pajama pants and into your black jeans, fixing your hair, glasses and whatever you needed to be fixed too look actually decent. As you fix your look you listen through the door to see what's going on. You're out of the room and you know they're going to have something to talk about.

"What is that motherfucker doin' in our motherfucking house?!" Gamzee said just a tad too loud. His voice was angry and dripping venom with every word that came out of his mouth and you don't like the sound of it at all. "It's obvious that motherfucker knows what's all up and happening in here. You've been tellin him shit haven't you? Here I am thinkin you all up and care about us, but maybe you want to be with that mother fucker instead of me-"

Deciding not to let things get too out of hand you exit the door and lean against it, trying to keep a more cool kid act up as you talk again, This time in a less provoking tone. "Well he was lonely and upset last night, so I came over to comfort him. Chill though, everything's fine. I'm going to take Karkat out to breakfast and you can stay here, sleep, drink a beer, whatever you need to do." Fuck, don't drink a beer, don't get drunk. At this point you truly don't know what's worse, Drunk Gamzee or Sober Gamzee.

Gamzee backed up once you entered the room and the glare once directed at Karkat was now directed at you. He shook his head with a small growl, obviously not liking being told what to do. "You better keep your motherfucking hands off him" with that the clown had walked away and left them alone.

Karkat was still frozen, though his features he wanted to cry, or do something out of fear and ruining their relationship. He eventually moved though, knowing it was no use to just stay in one place and freak out, it'll probably just get him yelled at more. He walked to his dresser and grabbed some black jeans and another turtleneck, this time it was a dark gray. He owns so many, and in the same colors too. After wards he walked off to the bathroom and you walked in the living room, grabbing your keys and slipping on your shoes before heading out to your truck and waiting inside for Karkat.

After about 10 minutes Karkat is running down the front steps of his apartment and into your truck fixing the red beanie that sits on his head. "Sorry," He murmurs, tying his combat boots as you back up your truck and go back out on the road trying to find an IHOP or some shit like that. "Gamzee just wanted to say something before I left."

All you do is nod as you drive off to the restaurant, listening to shitty music in the background.

* * *

_Sorry it has taken me so long to upload this. It's so hard for me to get into a writing mood, but I finally did it. I've spent the whole day relaxing on my couch in the dying heat and typing this. God damn summer, I seriously hate sweating. I'm still trying to get used to writing for the characters and I know I suck at Dave and Gamzee, yet they are the main characters in this story. Ooops. Just be calm maybe I'll get used to writing them one day. For now I'll just hope that my writing wasn't that bad and that OCC. Thanks for leaving comments, they are appreciated to know what I can do. Just thanks again I didn't think my story would get this much attention for me just not being that much of a confident writer. _


End file.
